Suddenly as fast as a cheetah Mr Sherbet Man was shooting sherbet into Campbell’s mouth. Ka-bam! He knocked me out with his sherbet gas.
I went to the police station to see dad.
I looked through some files and there
It was Edward sherbet. It looks like
He has been to prison a lot of times.
I looked up what he was allergic to.
He is allergic to water. HA HA HA!!!
The next day Campbell decided to come friends with Mr Sherbet man.
So he said I have got a announcement
To make. Suck on this Campbell was shooting water into Mr Sherbets mouth.
Suddenly he started puffing up. So I through him in the swimming pool.
The end
I get the feeling your story is a little rushed Campbell. I would've liked some more detail in the middle so I could really get to know your character and your setting. Keep working hard. Mrs K
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